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Liz's story
When I first saw "the bitch stopped cooking" I was very newly married
and my husband and I were just starting to figure out how to share
chores, money, basically a life, together. I love to cook. For me it
is a creative, artistic, enjoyable activity. I love to think about a
menu for a few days, doing research and creative thinking and put it
together to then cook it and eat a romantic, delicious meal. My husband
does not like to cook very much. He often finds it overwhelming and
stressful, especially in our tiny kitchen.
I am a full-time 8th grade teacher, and there are many days when I get
home from work completely exhausted, and in the first couple of months
of our marriage, I would still meal plan and cook. I would feel guilty
for asking him to cook because I know that he doesn't enjoy it.
"The bitch stopped cooking" really helped me to see what a trap that can
be. I started asking him to cook a couple of meals a week. I don't
think I would have done this if I hadn't been reading "The bitch stopped
cooking". Every time I felt guilty for asking him to cook, I would
remember the website and remember that it is good for both of us, even
if it is hard at first. I started seeing cooking as a chore that can be
shared, like many of the other household chores. "The bitch stopped
cooking" also helped me to remember to be supportive of his cooking
efforts. It helped me remember not say things like "These sweet
potatoes are cold! I never serve you cold cold sweet potatoes. Why
can't you time your cooking right?" and other cranky, bitchy things.
Instead I would congratulate him on his efforts. He began to build
some confidence in the kitchen!
I still do much of the cooking, but it is a relief to know that I am not
the only one responsible for this chore. He still does not love
cooking, but he has a few meals that are very healthy and that he cooks
quite well. I find that when I know he is going to do the cooking, I
look forward to it all day. Sometimes, his meals are my favorite meals
of the week! I think that although he still doesn't love cooking, he
does love having a way to support me that I appreciate so much.
I am so happy that we have reached this point. If I didn't read "The
bitch stopped cooking", I would not have been able to hold my ground
with expecting him to cook, nor would I have been so thoughtfully
supportive when he did cook. Thanks ladies!
Christine's story I'm
a fairly new mother of two girls (a two-year old and a 9-month old).
I'm also a homemaker. When I heard about "The Bitch Stopped Cooking,"
I shared the idea with my working husband and to my surprise, he
offered to cook once a week. I love to cook but having a break once a
week is a wonderful option. We've decided for him to start cooking on
Saturdays when he doesn't have to work. We both are really loving it!
The original bitch who stopped cooking
My husband had started a new job with fewer hours and I had taken on a
new job that had me getting home an hour later than my husband.I realized that he could have been using that time to make dinner.I
also realized that I had already performed one of my jobs in life which
was to prepare meals for my children and since they were now all out of the house,
that particular job was completed.
I
don’t ever remember telling my husband that I would cook for him for
the rest of my life and although I had been doing that for 30 years I
didn’t see any reason to continue.I realized
that he was fully capable of cooking for himself (and for me if he
cooked a bit extra) and since he had a lot more free time than I did then
perhaps he would be agreeable to doing it.
I have to admit I did not ask him straight out to take over the cooking; I was passive-aggressive about it.I started dropping hints here and there and mentioning it in front of other people.In retrospect it would have been much more honorable to approach him
directly and tell him that I would no longer be preparing meals and
that I didn’t expect him to cook but that I wasn’t going to cook.Eventually he got the drift that if he wanted to eat he would have to cook.He also figured out pretty quickly that he would have to go to the grocery store and buy the food too.
It has been three years now and he has been cooking the whole time.It has been great!Just imagine coming home from work and having dinner placed in front of you. (Oh-wait-that’s what I did for him for 30 years.)Anyway—now it’s his turn, he can cook for the next 30 years.
